It started out from a conversation in the park that turned into an intimate tea with 1,700 other women. Jamila Rivzi and Clare Bowditch hosted their first event with special guest Zoë Foster Blake.
It was an evening of honest conversation on courage and creativity and they left us feeling just that little bit taller and little more confident than when we walked in.
It was a reminder of the simple things that as women, we need to focus on and ask ourselves. Are we being courageous enough? Are we allowing ourselves to feel bored? Are we focusing on the right things? What’s stopping us and what are we truly scared of?
In today’s world, we allow no space in our lives for creativity. We were asked a simple question: How often do you feel bored? Ok, so let’s face it, being bored is something we are not very good at and we don’t do often enough.
“I am never bored anymore. I am too busy to be bored. I genuinely cannot remember the last time I felt bored. I am busy looking after my kid, I am busy cooking dinner, I am busy getting to that meeting on time, I am busy seeing friends, I am busy paying bills, I am busy organising pick up and drop off.
All those in between moments of quiet that could have provided space for reflection and that elusive opportunity for that aha moment, I fill them. I fill them listening to podcasts, checking my Instagram or scrolling through my Facebook feed.” Jamila said.
“The mind must be allowed to be idle in order to consider things in a new way. Moments of quiet, lack of stimulation and the absence of distraction are essential for our creativity. It is why our best ideas come when we are in the shower.” Jamila said
The biggest problem we have with our creativity is our need to be entertained, excited and connected every single second of the day. When was the last time you sat for a few minutes and allowed yourself to be bored? When did you last turn off your phone? Or turn off your wifi?
“We no longer allow ourselves to be bored and push through to that moment of brilliance. We fear boredom and we have lost the courage to try something new. Because we are scared.” Jamila said
But how do we practically do that in a world where we struggle to fit everything in? “Balance is an aspiration. You need to set your boundaries and your principles and once you have those, you can assess, is the juice worth the squeeze?” Zoe said.
And that was that.
So simple. Is the juice worth the squeeze? Is the effort really worth the outcome? As Zoe rightly pointed out “If you are going to do something, work out if it’s worth it? You need to work out what is important to you.”
“Getting older is where my confidence has come from. There is no one’s advice you should take but your own.” Zoe said.
So the juggle is real. But how does Zoe keep it together? Pretty simple in fact. She puts one foot in front of the other and believes coffee is everything. “What do people do without coffee? I have 3 a day at the moment.”
As for Jam, she needs sugar. Simple and honest. No quitting sugar for her.
So, let’s embrace boredom. Let’s be more courageous and face into things you never thought possible. Turn off your phone. Sing in the shower. Try some mediation. Get yourself an ‘internal strut’ and if you’re game enough, maybe even get yourself a curly fringe like Zoe. Because she has the confidence to pull it off.
And next time you’re questioning something, just ask yourself that simple question. Is the juice really worth the squeeze?
Written by Jodi Geddes and Kate Pollard. The next Tea With Jam and Clare will be held on Thursday 24 May, with special guest Rosie Waterland. Follow them on Insta @teawithjamandclare.
Beautiful images supplied by the talented Anna Robinson